Family may not be too pleased to hear this but whatever, they need to realize that I'm not 6 anymore, and that I have sex just like the rest of them. It's a natural act and I don't care what they have to say about it.
So, I've been having a secret (not so secret now) tryst with J4. I guess that's one reason he's important.
He mostly knows how to work me, which is really awesome. I can't complain there. But it's the way he does it that bothers me. He doesn't have to touch me. He doesn't have to kiss me, he doesn't have to whisper sweet nothings to me. He just has to look at me and talk to me.
Just listening to his ideas about how people and the world works is enough to set a fire underneath me. Does he know that? Is this something he does on purpose?
How crazy does that sound?
I feel feeble minded knowing that he can solicit carnal need just by being articulate and knowledgeable. I just wish he would put in the effort to make it the absolute 10000000 percent best by just kissing me. By just holding me.... I know he doesn't care about me in that way. I completely understand that he might never like me like that, but I don't care. I just want to feel cared about and I'll be fine.
But the truth is, I don't feel cared about.
So I'm kind of on edge right now.
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